Your Parenting Mantra

If you have talked to me recently you know I am blog obsessed. This technology thing is very addictive… I spend countless hours scouring sites looking for inspiration. It’s time consuming but there is a big upside. There are some seriously smart and talented people on the internet. Real people. Living real lives. Sharing good stuff.

Right now I am digging a blog called Five Kids Is a Lot of Kids. The woman who writes it is fearless - unafraid of judgement and completely honest. In my opinion one of her most recent posts is spot on. I chose a few of my favorites from her list of things every parent should hear. Head over to her blog for the full post.

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Things Every Parent Should Hear

1. You are a hero for your kids. You are. You’re a go-the-distance, fight-the-dragon, face-the-challenges hero for your kids. Taking a beating makes that more true. Not less.

2. We all struggle. Every parent. Everywhere. We all second-guess ourselves. And we all want to quit sometimes. Hold the good times close, and when things are tough, remember “this, too, shall pass.”

3. Finding the funny may not save your soul, but it will save your sanity. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Either way, look for the humor and embrace the crazy. Laughter is a lifeline.

4. Every day, you will feel like you have mishandled something. Like you’ve been impatient. Like you’ve misjudged. Like you’ve been too harsh. Like you’ve been too lenient. You may be right. Apologize if you need to and then, whatever. Seriously. Just whatever. Let it go.

5. The crazy, the crying, the cuddles. The screaming, the sacred, the scared. The minutes, the magic, the mess. It’s all part of it. And it’s all worth it.

6. Parenting is like climbing the big mountain. Look for the base camp. That’s where you rest, meet other climbers, take in oxygen and acclimatize. Base camp is what makes summiting possible.

7. You are not alone in this strange, vast, parenting ocean. Even in the dark of night. You are not alone. You’re not.

8. There’s a very fine line between enjoying the chaos and barely surviving. Actually, there’s no line at all. It’s all mixed up together. That “fine line” thing is a lie.

9. If you pay attention, kids will teach you how to laugh loudly, how to love deeply and how to live fully. They will also ruin all your stuff.

10. Look for joy. You’ll find it in the middle of the busy. Or under the ridiculous. Or hanging from the overwhelmed in its underpants. Joy’s like that. It’s in the middle of everything. It’s completely unpredictable. And it will surprise you when you’re not expecting it. Like vomit and diarrhea, except good.

11. You will fall apart and do it all wrong. Forgive yourself. Ask your kids to forgive you. Set an example of resilient fallibility. Set an example of practicing the art of love — both loving yourself and loving others. No one does this parenting gig right the first time. Or the last time. Or the times in between. Showing your kids how to keep going after getting it wrong is a wonderful gift to give them.

12. Kids are difficult, gross, confusing and awesome. So are you.

13. Parenting will bring you face to face with yourself. It may be terrifying. It may break you. But it will also rebuild you, and you will be stronger than you ever thought possible.

14. Balance is a myth. Parenting isn’t a tight-rope walk; it’s a dance. Strive for rhythm instead of balance, and trust yourself to move to the ever-changing beat.

15. Yes, you will have days where you wonder where the hell the capable and organized you went. Yes, you will sit on the floor of the main aisle at Target by the check-out area with a child who is thrashing, screaming and calling you names. Yes, you will have to tell your child that the dog is not a napkin and to put down the urinal cake. If you do not do all those things literally, then you will do them figuratively. And yes, you will also hold that child and rock back and forth and tell him you love him and tell him he’s safe and tell him you’re not leaving even though he will someday leave you. This is parenting. It is tragic and triumphant. Messy and magical. Sacred and spectacular. And it is, always, fiercely worthwhile.

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I dig that whole thing about Base Camp. It’s for real. I do feel like I am climbing an impossibly high mountain as a parent. BUT every time I take a break, look out at the view, and breath in the thin fresh air - I realize just how stunning the scenery around me really is.  Base Camp is where I make friends and friends help me to keep climbing. It's also where I catch up with family. Their support is indispensable. 

I could also really relate to that whole “kids will ruin all your stuff” line. Why do children always seem to have sticky hands??? Oh well. Stuff can always be replaced.

What’s your parenting mantra? If you don’t have one, create one. It will inspire you to be better at your job.