CHANGE

And it is that simple... Or is it? I seek the zen. I don't feel it all the time - yet - but I seek it. These days I try to portray a woman living a slow-paced peaceful existence each and every day. My insides might be moving at 100 miles per hour - but on the outside I strive to seem at peace. It wasn't always this way... For years I was the girl you didn't want to run into on your lunch break. One brief "How are you? " and I was off and running. "How am I? Let me tell you how I am. I have insomnia. Hate my job. Haven't been to the gym in weeks and I have I mentioned the migraines? Oh yes, I do go to acupuncture but it's just not enough. Now let's get back to the insomnia...." Ick. I am thankful for those who have stuck by me despite my ability to complain. All the time. A few years ago I looked that whiny lady in the face and said, "That's enough from you complainer. Focus on the good. There's lots of it out there if you really look for it." I'm still a work in progress but I am better.

Nowadays there is no bigger compliment I can receive than for someone to say, "Why Lindley, you seem so calm in the face of such a busy life." It's music to my ears. Well dear friend who has given me such a lovely compliment - I must admit that I am slightly "faking it until I make it". I, like you, hear my brain saying, "Move it sister. You have 10 million things to do today." My muscles twitch with the yearning to drag my child along and lift her into her carseat instead of letting her slowly climb in on her own. I believe in muscle memory and I am forcing my body to learn what it feels like to move at a slower pace. To check 2 less things off my to-do list each day and know they will eventually get done. 

This attitude is what I strive for but too often don't achieve. When I feel myself falling off the zen-wagon I reach out to those who ground me. I ask for help. I meditate. I do Qi Gong. I breathe until the anxiety passes. And I listen to music. Music that makes me smile and lose myself within it. Yesterday this playlist realigned my week. One of my favorite ladies that I interviewed here played it during yoga class. She rocks. The first song is good. And relevant. Be the change you want to see.

{Don't forget to scroll down to number 15}

And if all else fails - try meditation. Anywhere, anytime. This too should help.